Next week is our teen ladies’ conference. I can’t believe it is almost here. What a journey I have been on since January 14 when the Lord and I had the battle, and He won. Since that time, there have been many ups and downs.
Satan has been fighting this conference and what I am going to speak on. He has worked to discourage me, make me doubt and even try to depress me. I have been sick since December. Never have I been sick for so long. It is really getting discouraging. He has whispered that I can’t talk about my past. That people will look at me differently. He has whispered that the girls won’t listen to me so why should I even speak. I am nothing, and they won’t listen. He has brought up over and over my past to remind me just how far away from God I was. He has tried to make me feel that I am unworthy. The guilt and shame have been hard to face. I have felt his fiery darts over and over.
However, every time Satan tries to discourage me and try to talk me out of listening to God, God has encouraged me two or three times more than that discouragement. He has used songs in the service or a song a friend has sent me. He has used the prayers and encouraging words of the people who know what I am going to say. He has helped me see that His grace and forgiveness is enough. I am not who I was. He has used articles sent to me or on social media to encourage me. The Holy Spirit has whispered to me that He is with me. The Bible has reminded me that my sin is covered by Jesus’ blood and that God loves and restores. It isn’t just the sin that I did before salvation that God has forgiven. When I sin and ask God for forgiveness after salvation, the same thing happens. God forgives me, and it is under the blood. God has reminded me that we are in spiritual warfare. Satan is battling for our lives and the lives of our teens. But God has told me that He will strengthen and enable me.
I know it isn’t going to be easy. I will be opening myself up and sharing some ugly things from my past. But God has asked me to do this. How can I not listen to Him? What if what I say changes the course of someone’s life? What if God uses it later to help someone see that they can come back to God because God will forgive? What if that teen remembers what was said and makes a choice for right instead of listening to Satan’s lies? What if a teen thinks twice about a temptation because they remember that even though God will forgive them, the scars and consequences will be there forever?
God has asked me to do this. So even though Satan is attacking, I will obey my God. I will trust Him to guide my thoughts and words. That He will give me the wisdom I need. That the girls will see Jesus in my life and want that in their life as well. I pray that God will use this conference to change lives.