Hold on to your Trust

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Have you ever thought of how sin starts in your life? I believe it starts in the mind. “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.”(James 1:14-15). You think and then you act. I can heartily agree with that. If you were to ask me in high school if I would ever live a life completely out of God’s will, I would have emphatically said, “No!” I was involved in many ministries in my youth department: nursing home, bus route, youth activities. However, Satan is the master deceiver. He knows our weaknesses. He knows what we struggle with. And he is very good at getting us to fall.

I used to say loneliness was what caused me to go down the ungodly path that I followed. However, I don’t believe that is the main cause. Loneliness came later. It is an area that I struggled with then and still struggle with now. But that isn’t why I turned away. It was trust. I didn’t truly trust the Lord. I thought He should do certain things in my life, and when He didn’t, I stopped trusting Him. Oh, it wasn’t really a conscience thought. It just slowly grew.

In school, I was “in love” with a guy. In my eyes, he was amazing. I truly thought I would marry him. The problem was that he didn’t know it. LOL. I liked him, but he wasn’t interested in me except as a friend. Turns out he started to like one of my friends my senior year. I was devastated. I asked questions like: “Why God?” and “Why would You let this happen?” I was serving Him. I was planning to go to a Christian college hoping to become a Christian school teacher at my alma mater. I “loved” him. Why would He let me be hurt that way? As a result, because I didn’t work at trusting God no matter what, a little bit of my trust in Him crumbled away.

Then I went to a Christian college. “Okay, Lord, now I know you will bring someone to me to love and treasure me.” Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. A lot of nights, I sat in my dorm room alone, crying because my heart was broken. “What is wrong with me, Lord?” “Why doesn’t anyone want to commit to me?” Oh, I hung out with a couple of guys. Even kissed one (although that was against the rules). He didn’t commit to me though. Another bit of my trust crumbled.

When I came back home the summer after my sophomore year, I started working. During that time, because my trust in God had started to crumble, when my co-workers asked me to hang out with them, I did. We went to places that I knew, as a Christian, I shouldn’t be going. But at that point, God’s voice wasn’t as loud as Satan’s. You see, Satan started convincing me that I needed to take matters into my own hands. God hadn’t sent someone to love me. I needed to find him myself. Oh how wrong that was!

Before I knew it, I was dating someone who didn’t know the Lord, doing things I knew were disappointing to my Savior, and living a live apart from my loving God. Sin took me farther than I wanted to go.

So what can we do to make sure sin doesn’t abound in our lives. The number one thing to do is to stay as close to God as we can. Realize that He has every aspect of our lives in his sights. He knows what is best for us. He sees the future. We can trust Him. Even when we don’t see what He is doing. He loves us more than anyone ever can. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee” (Isaiah 26:3). No peace comes from living a sinful life. We need to stay focused on the Lord!

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