Do you know what it is like to wake up in the morning full of regrets? To wish you could redo the night before? Or even the day before? To feel ashamed because of the choices you made? To pray that no one ever finds out what you did? Or even the things that happened to you that you couldn’t control?
I do. I know the shame and regret that comes from a life not pleasing to the One who loves me most. I wish with my whole heart that I could erase that time from my life, but it is impossible to turn back the hands of time. To redo a night, a whole day, a month or even years. I know what it is like to live without joy, hope and love. How I wish I would have listened to my Sunday school and Christian school teachers. How I wish I would have stayed close to the Lord. That I didn’t choose little by little to disobey God.
You see, I am living proof that “sin will take you farther than you want to go.” What started out as one little sin, before I knew it had become many ungodly sins. In fact, at one point, I was involved in so much sin that you wouldn’t have thought I was even a Christian. Sometimes I wondered it myself because my sin was so great. It is hard to think about that time and not have regrets and shame.
Then God got a hold of me. He started to draw me back to Himself. He forgave and cleansed me from all (and I mean all) of my sins. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9). The problem is that, although I am forgiven and being used by Him, I still struggle with guilt and the consequences from that time away from God. Satan loves to remind me just how wicked I was. He likes to remind me of that time. Of the “fun” I had. Oh, and there was fun. As the Bible says, there is pleasure in sin, but only for a season. “Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season” (Hebrews 11:25). Satan likes to try and tell me that I am missing out by serving the Lord. But I know better. I am not missing out. I am living! Living a life pleasing to my Savior. One that doesn’t cause me to wake up with regrets or shame. A life filled with peace knowing that I am exactly where God wants me to be.
So dear friend. Are you in the same position I was? Are you living a life filled with shame and regret? God can help you just like He helped me. I had to do something though. I had to come to God and ask Him to forgive me. To admit that I was sinning against God. That the choices I was making were against all that Jesus expected of me. Once I did that, He started to “redo” me. I was made into someone different. Someone who knew that Jesus truly does forgive. Everything. Even the worst sins. I am now someone that knows God’s great love for me. Although I knew that God loved me before I went down this path, it wasn’t quite real to me. Now I am overwhelmed with how much God loves me. You see, He beckoned me to return to Him. He pursued me. I can see all the things He did to draw me back to Himself. I wasn’t looking to Him, but He was seeking me. And if you look hard enough you will see that He is pursuing you, as well. Will you listen to His call?